And now, how about that reward.

I remember I used to say that it would be nice to just have a year where NOTHING happened.  Good, bad or otherwise.  I was speaking selfishly about MY life…  cuz it is all about me… but I have reduced that request down now to a week, and now just a day.  I crave stability, peace and silence.  For 24 hours.  That’s all.  Too much to ask?

Yeah, I know.  I have a life, kids, a job… get over it.

Yesterday, as I pointed out, was tough.  It was SOOO hard to say no and I was so weak of character and constitution.  I was pretty disappointed in myself, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.  Is that weird?  I did NOT drink.  I did NOT overeat or eat junk… but I wanted to so bad it ruined my day.  I even exercised very well.  I did all the right things and still sucked.  In my mind anyway.

So let’s talk about today.  I got up, not feeling much better.  Immediately bailed on my scheduled trail run at Rock Bridge (a run I treasure, by the way) because I knew the rains had made a mess of the trails.  And cold, wet and muddy sounded like a triple dose of piss me off, so I had a cup of coffee and pouted.  Thank the gods my family wasn’t up to have to put up with my suffering.

By the time they woke up I had reconciled to go for a long run if the weather improved and, according to the weather report, that’s just what it was supposed to do.  That, and fixing a pesky problem with my internet connection, brightened my spirits a bit.  I decided to run around lunch time and that’s when I got my first gift.  The sun came out and it was beautiful.  Light breeze, about 50, sky so blue it hurt.  The next gift was the actual run.  I haven’t felt that good in a long time.  I ran 11.4 miles.  The longest run of the year so far.  A mileage I didn’t achieve until September of last year.  I could have run for another 10 miles.  Sparing the details, let’s just say I had to talk myself down from a 15 mile run to the 11 that I ran.  It sounded something like “Yes.  You feel great.  But this is an out and back course.  You feel great at mile 5.  If you go 7.5 out, you know miles 13-15 are gonna suck.”  So I gave in.  The beautiful part is I feel like I am ready to do any distance (reasonable distances please… and no, a full Iron is NOT reasonable) this year already and I don’t even have a bike.  I’m uncomfortable with this kind of euphoria, especially after how I felt yesterday.  I’m clearly going bipolar… *sigh*

After my awesome run, I headed to the local running store to do my weigh in for the biggest loser competition our tri club is hosting.  I was at 197 and change last week and was pretty sure I was lower, but not by much.  But the scale said 193…  The final gift of the day.

I consider myself a pretty stable person for the most part.  My Irish gets up on rare occasions and I admit that, but for the most part I roll with it.  I have never been this emotional about or obsessed about losing weight or eating right.  It was always something I either HAD to do (diet) or something I SHOULD be doing for some nebulous healthy lifestyle goal.  Why I’m taking it so serious this time… I don’t know.  Last time I lost weight (yes, I’ve done this before… down to 178 two years ago) I said it was for my family.  So I could be healthy and grow old active with them.  But it can’t be about doing this for anyone else.  I have to do this for me.  They will get the reward anyway.  But until I get the reward it won’t stick. I got rewarded today for my hard work.  And it felt damn good.  Time to move on.  190 next week?

Weight: 193lb (down 4lb for the week)


Comments are closed.


My life and journey to my next 100 mile race.

Tell Me About Running

A Day In My Running Shoes

Run Long Run Strong

A journey towards ultra-marathon completion

Running On Healthy

Living Life Healthy, Fit, and Happy

The 3-3-1 Express Diet Blog

Taking you from Fat to Fit in Record Time


An exercise in being radically transparent.

Alina's Scentsy Scents

scentsy scents, an honest opinion about fragrances


Fitness for the modern

Runner Mom

Just a mommy addicted to running

11315 Miles

Run, Walk, Bike...Repeat. Never.Give.Up.

Max Muscles

Build mucles to become strong and hard!

Newfound FITNESS

Happy, Healthy, and Energetic!

My great Wordpress blog

Just another WordPress site

Hemingway Run

From Couch Potato To Runner Bean!

Single-tracked Mind

Early nights and compression tights; trails and ales.


Running, Mommyhood, and Awesomeness!

Muscle. Mind. Madness.

Just another site

%d bloggers like this: