It’s hard not to look back sometimes.  Out on my run this morning it all kind of came back to me.  Last year at this time I was running under an 8 minute pace and had all the confidence that I would break 22 minutes for a 5 K in the spring.  Then everything fell apart and I ended up signing up for 10 races and actually completing only 3.  My fitness continued to decline, even though I was making most of the workouts, throughout the year.  And as I watched my friends, who I used to run with or even outpace, run off into the distance ahead of me, I knew I couldn’t keep up with them.

For the athlete in me, that is a tough pill to swallow and a big disappointment.  I am trying to be positive about it but the old, rah rah, “hey, at least you are out there trying” BS just isn’t sticking right now.  The realist in me knows that I had other priorities last year and I also have no one to blame but myself for my misgivings at the table (and the bar).  It still stinks, no matter what you spray on it.

But I have to move on.

If I keep thinking about how far I’ve fallen it will just impair my forward progress.  Yes, I have a long way to go.  But I was the one holding the shovel when the digging started for this hole.  Whining about it now is only feeling sorry for myself.  I didn’t get injured or sick… I got lazy.  Time to pay that tab…

I’m still not up to running the full 10 miles with the group yet.  Oh, I “could”, but I would miss my next 3 workouts due to soreness.  Better to build back up slowly.  I’m at 8 for my longest run now and only need to get to 13 for a half Iron, but I’ve got at least 5 months to get there.  I’m good.  No need to increase too fast.  I will run trails tomorrow which is always slow for me.  But if I push too hard on the Saturday runs, I won’t even be able to DO the Sunday run.  It’s a balance.

I am still at or near that 5lb weight loss for the first week.  We’ll see what happens tomorrow at the weigh in.  I can say that my clothes don’t fit any different so the weight must be coming off of my fat head.  Hopefully it will eventually get to my gut…  My goal is not six pack abs.  I just wanna get rid of the keg.

Weight: 208lb

Mileages for the week: 1mi swim/40mi bike/18mi run.  Lifted 4 days.

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