Captain Whineypants- Part II

Distance: 5 miles

Miles to go: 1670

Ran this morning with a group that is training for the Columbus Marathon.  After a week of planes, mass transit, bad food airplane flu and a grand total of 9.5 miles in the bag, it was damn depressing to hear about the 50-70 mile weeks they were putting in and thinking I was doing the same thing this time last year and really wanted to be there again.

As for my run, I felt terrible…  I alternated between wheezing and wanting to pass out.  I fought the evil “just walk” demons for the last 3 miles of the run.  I was pretty disheartened.  I’m sure it’s just because I’m still recovering from airplane flu but that sucked.

I guess the only good thing to come out of this is my attitude towards all of this.  I have been here before, mentally, and am very aware of my precarious position.  I am at a point where, with very little effort I could slip back into my old ways and stop running altogether.  The pain, frustration and depression of my current state being make for easy invitations to just quit.  I have done so many times in the past.  However, this time is different.  Even though I am physically shaken and emotionally weak, my mental state is different.  I know now that this is just a part of it all.  The down to go with last year’s terrific ups.  All I can do is run… as much as I can… whenever I can.  And the rest will work itself out.  I may never get back up to marathon mileage again… but I don’t care.  As long as I’m running, I really don’t care.   I think the bike commutes will help as well and I’m also hoping to join the local mega-gym soon which will allow me to start swimming as well.  No, not for triathlons, at least not in the short term.  For now it’s just another option and I think that’s what I need right now.  But I absolutely know it won’t be quitting.

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