Distance: 5 miles
Miles to go: 1670
Ran this morning with a group that is training for the Columbus Marathon. After a week of planes, mass transit, bad food airplane flu and a grand total of 9.5 miles in the bag, it was damn depressing to hear about the 50-70 mile weeks they were putting in and thinking I was doing the same thing this time last year and really wanted to be there again.
As for my run, I felt terrible… I alternated between wheezing and wanting to pass out. I fought the evil “just walk” demons for the last 3 miles of the run. I was pretty disheartened. I’m sure it’s just because I’m still recovering from airplane flu but that sucked.
I guess the only good thing to come out of this is my attitude towards all of this. I have been here before, mentally, and am very aware of my precarious position. I am at a point where, with very little effort I could slip back into my old ways and stop running altogether. The pain, frustration and depression of my current state being make for easy invitations to just quit. I have done so many times in the past. However, this time is different. Even though I am physically shaken and emotionally weak, my mental state is different. I know now that this is just a part of it all. The down to go with last year’s terrific ups. All I can do is run… as much as I can… whenever I can. And the rest will work itself out. I may never get back up to marathon mileage again… but I don’t care. As long as I’m running, I really don’t care. I think the bike commutes will help as well and I’m also hoping to join the local mega-gym soon which will allow me to start swimming as well. No, not for triathlons, at least not in the short term. For now it’s just another option and I think that’s what I need right now. But I absolutely know it won’t be quitting.