So long, pop…

Distance: 5mi

Miles to go: 1867

Nice, slow, steady, cruise today.  Cold… about 40 and a wind of about 30mph… oh… and drizzling.  Sound lovely?  Actually, it wasn’t bad.  The way the trail runs through the woods by the creek (which looks like the Mississippi right now with all the rain we’ve gotten) you are pretty sheltered except for a few places where the trail goes through a field.  I did manage to get hit with a couple of gusts that nearly stopped me dead but those same gusts became tailwinds on the way back, so it balanced out.

I’m finding the slow and steady approach feels much better during and after the runs than pushing it.  So for now I’m averaging just under 10 minute mile pace and that is fine.  I’m moving forward.  That’s a good thing.

I have to go out of town for a few days to attend my father’s funeral.  He was a great man who’s body failed him and left him an invalid for nearly 20 years.  In many ways, his death is a blessing, both to him and my mother.  He is no longer in pain and has his body and mind back.  My mother, who is in poor health herself, is free from the burden of giving him total care and can now relax and heal herself.  I’m sad to see him go but I said my good byes to him years ago and mourned his passing then.  Since then I have loved him the same but I guess I’ve distanced myself from him.  It’s not a good thing or a bad thing…  It’s just a thing.  I watched him slowly fade for 17 years after his stroke and was tough, but it was actually a strong motivator for me to get back in shape.  I’ve always said (forgive the Def Leppard reference… it’s unintentional) it’s better to burn out than fade away… and this is just more ammo in my defense.  I would much rather have people say “Dude!  Bob died doing WHAT?!!!” rather than “Oh… I thought Bob died a long time ago?”  It’s just my personal philosophy.

Sorry to be so morbid.  Honestly, I’m actually upbeat right now.  My pop doesn’t hurt anymore, my mom can finally take it easy and I’m more confident than ever that I’m doing the right thing.  Don’t mourn the loss… celebrate the life!  He was a cool guy, he loved mom and us kids very much and his sense of humor was legendary.  That’s what I’ll always remember…

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4 Responses to So long, pop…

  1. Cheryl says:

    It’s still a loss, and I’m sorry for your loss no matter when it happened. My fiance’s mother had a stroke a few years ago and she has been in a nursing home (hell I like to call it) since then and it’s a horrible way to die, just fading away. Like you say, I hope I go out with a bang instead of a slow burdensome lingering life in a place I don’t want to be.

  2. alphameg says:

    I am sorry to hear about your dad, no matter what you say it’s not an easy thing, but you are right that it will probably give your mom some peace. Take care of yourself.

  3. OS says:

    That is a beautiful and strong perspective. I am sorry for your loss.

  4. Sheila says:

    So sorry for your loss.

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