Old demons

Well I can at least walk semi normally today, for the first time since the “Great Toe Massacre”.  I would love to say that this means I will be running again soon, but I’m just not sure.  It may take a week or so more to heal, so in the meantime I get to fight a personal battle with food.  Whenever I get depressed or stressed, I eat.  I don’t care what or how much.  I find that since I am very upset about this little setback, I am starting to lean towards food again as a crutch to make me feel better.  It’s an old and very bad habit that is terribly difficult to break.  Although I have been much better than in years past, I still find myself desiring things that I haven’t wanted to eat in a very long time, like beer, candy and fast food.  For the first time in a VERY long time yesterday, I was driving by Burger King and my stomach didn’t turn when I smelled it.  In fact, my mouth watered.  It’s a real trip to me how much of a psychological thing eating is… at least for me.  But it’s also shameful and frustrating for me to not be able to fight this as well as I want to…  Which, in turn, makes me want to eat…  It’s an ugly cycle.

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One Response to Old demons

  1. blb says:

    HELLO,

    I just wanted to say I struggle with the same thing. I have had two ankle injuries. One each of the last two years. I had to take anywhere from 3 months to 6 months off. So I sympathize. Is there anything you can do like bike or swim to substitute? Stay strong, that to shall pass.

    later.

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