There… That wasn’t so bad…!

Mileage: 4

Time: 35:00

With much trepidation, I gingerly stepped back on to the very trail that bit me on the ankle just 3 days earlier and oh so carefully began to test the injured appendage.  But, blessedly, after a couple hundred yards of mild protest and a few twinges, the ankle warmed up and felt like nothing had even happened…  Talk about a relief.  I tried not to push it too hard and I was oddly out of breath, but still managed 4 miles at 8:45 pace.  Not the 8 flats I was running when I had the blowout, but encouraging…!  I guess when there is not much left to damage, even a bad injury isn’t that bad…

I’m not even going to try to make up the mileage I missed.  I’m not worried about it.  Maybe an extra mile here or there as I go, but all in all, I don’t think it even put a dent in my training plan.  Kind of a relief…

As it starts to warm up though (87 today) I am going to start looking at doing a couple of runs a week in the early morning.  With all the clubs doing 5:30 am runs around here you can’t swing an old running shoe without hitting a half dozen runners on any local trail before 6am.  And they are usually all… happy… and cheerful and stuff… it’s disgusting.  I may be a morning person… but I’m not happy about it…

Downs and ups

I almost posted a sullen, grumpy entry about an hour ago, but some good times with my family out on our new deck in the beautiful evening sun have brightened my mood a bit.  Since I couldn’t run I decided to hit a few of the top items on my “honeydo” list, including installing a storm door, a screen door, etc.  Then I went to Home Despot and dropped over 3 large bills on the beginnings of a complete kitchen makeover, complete with hardwood floors, new cabinets and counter tops, etc.  I figure that when I get done, it will be about a $40,000 upgrade and I am doing it for about $10K because I’m building the cabinets and installing everything myself.  Daunting… but fun!

My ankle is feeling much better.  I may try to run a little on it tomorrow to see how it responds and to break in my new shoes (Asics Gel Kayanos… the most expensive shoe ever… I hope they’re worth it…).  I think the extra support that the new shoes give will help the ankle.  It doesn’t hurt anymore and only complains when I overextend it one way or another.  Hopefully if I am nice to it tonight and tomorrow during the day, I can run tomorrow evening (fingers crossed).  I feel like a crackhead who hasn’t gotten his fix in 2 days.  I think I’m getting the shakes…

I do have to admit to a bout of binge depression eating though… Complete with beer (at least it was light beer… that’s a good thing… right?).  I was pretty upset about my ankle yesterday so I ate junk.  I realized what I was doing a bit too late to stop and that made me even more upset.  I really hate when my eating gets out of control.  I keep telling myself “food is just fuel” but sometimes that is hard to live with.  Especially when you have no will power… sigh…  I’m definitely a stress eater and it’s worse when I’m down.  Even if I only run a mile tomorrow, I think it will lift my up a bit.  I’ll let you know!

It figures…

Mileage: 6

Time: 52:00

I shouldn’t have been reading all your blogs about your injuries.  It rubbed off.

I suffered a bit of a setback today.  I was out running 6 miles and feeling really good.  By my mile splits, I was looking at quite possibly breaking 50 minutes.  I had just passed the 5 mile marker and decided to drop a gear and really push the last mile to see what I had.  Then I stepped on the tiniest pebble in a trail full of them.  But I stepped on it just right (or wrong) and rolled my ankle…

crap…

Now, I destroyed both my ankles long ago.  I stepped on the sides of one too many bases playing baseball and ruined both of them at one point or another.  Add to that stepping on a few shoes while playing basketball, etc., and you get the point.  There is not much left to hurt.  I can usually roll an ankle while doing something,  hop up and down a couple of times while saying something colorful (with multiple sentence enhancers…), and then continue on without any problems.  Unfortunately, not this time.

I went from a possible sub 50 to hobbling in at 52.  I knew once I stopped that I may be hurt a bit more than usual and I was right.  While there is not a whole lot of swelling, there is sharp pain in the top of my ankle in the spring or extension part of my step (think standing on your tip toes…) and a slight general discomfort when I walk.

The good news is that I do have some extra time planned in to my training schedule for just such an emergency.  I just didn’t want to use it until later.  I am going to start by taking today off.  I was only scheduled for 3 miles anyway so it’s no biggie.  From there I guess you would call my status “day to day”.  I am supposed to run 8 tomorrow and I really don’t want to miss that, but as I’ve said all along, I will listen to my body.  If I have to take a week off to heal, that’s what I’ll do.  I won’t like it and I will be a grumpy, miserable, whiny, SOB the entire time, but I’ll do it… *sigh*

What drives you?

As I said before, the biggest challenge for me in the upcoming months will be mental.  As temperatures and humidity rise, my motivation wanes.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still highly motivated… I just know me.  The mental battle I see looming on my horizon will rival any physical challenge I face.  Trying to convince myself that it is, indeed, a good idea to get up and be on the trail at 5:30 in the morning to avoid the heat will be a test.  Of course, I’m sure running a few 8 milers in the 90 degree/90% humidity that is a summer in Missouri may “refocus” my motivation…!

I will admit to, with a few notable exceptions, having a lifetime battle with will power.  I am hoping that age has made me stronger in this department, but the upcoming months will push that to the limit.  Although I am looking forward to the challenge, in some ways, just getting to the starting line for the marathon will be a huge victory for me.  It will mean that I have shown the discipline, motivation and dedication necessary to achieve such a goal.  And, yes, I do have my dream times and goals for the actual run.  But that doesn’t matter if I can’t stay focused enough to get there in the first place.  It doesn’t help either that I sometimes have the attention span of a gnat.  I find myself constantly having to stop before I make a decision related to food or exercise and ask “What effect will this have on my goals?” And I will admit to asking the question sometimes just a bit too late…

I think this blog, my training calendar posted on my wall at work, the support of family and friends, etc. will help me stay focused.  But it all really boils down to me.  This is an extremely personal journey.  I don’t have training partners or a sponsor or a support team or even a coach.  I can’t lie to myself.  I know how I feel.  I “think” I know my body well enough to decide if I have prepared correctly to run marathon distance.  Of course, only time will tell if I was right.

As I begin to stretch out my distances, I find my body responding better than I thought it would.  I actually have fewer aches and pains now than I did before I started running again.  Partly because I think I am training the right way this time, and partly because I am giving myself plenty of time to prepare.  My confidence is growing that I will be able, physically, to run marathon distance.  So it all comes down to staying mentally focused on my goal and being strong enough inside to battle the apathy, laziness, self doubt and other deadly sins of a runner (gluttony… sloth…?) that will cause me to fail.

My baseball coach in high school used to call them “Invitations to stay the same”.  He said we are given an invitation to stay the same every day.  Those of us who want to get better have to turn down that invitation EVERY DAY and choose instead to strive toward a greater goal.  Staying the same is easy.  It is also comfortable, requires little effort and even less thought.  Self improvement requires sacrifice.  It is very uncomfortable, demands constant attention and thought, very hard work, and does not allow for excuses (which I am extremely good at…).  I don’t remember that man ever giving me a pointer on technique or a word of encouragement.  I have never forgotten these words, though, and use them as motivation every day.  For me, “staying the same” means being fat, unhealthy and a burden.  It’s an invitation I can’t accept ever again.  And it’s what drives me toward my goals.

I have found my “wall”

Mileage: 5.5ish

Time: 49:50

I tried out a combination of two shorter runs joined together by a really ugly hill tonight.  It was really fun but that hill is a killer.  It’s only about 1/10 of a mile long but it’s about a 20% grade.  I think I have found my “hill training” hill and, like any good runner, have dubbed it “the wall”.  About 10 sprints up this thing is all I could handle without horking up a lung.  Heck, once up it had me wheezing like wind through a screen door.  But it’s good and it’s close to the house, so prepare for major horking…  There were no mile markers for most of this run so I think it ended up being a bit short.  No big deal, I’ll just run a bit longer tomorrow.

Speaking of horking, my house decided it didn’t like the taste of my running clothes after all so it coughed them back up and crammed them between the end of the bed and the mattress. [embarrassed grin]  Now if I could just find that last pair of shorts… and maybe a $20 in the pocket… that’d be SWEET! …or maybe a Garmin… or a Nike/Nano? …ah well… *sigh*

Run between the raindrops

Something I didn’t have to do much when I lived in SoCal. But it’s pretty much a way of life here in the Midwest. Yesterday, for instance, I had to strategically plan my departure from work so that it coincided with the 40 minute break we got between thunderstorms. Even so, the last quarter mile of my run was in a steady rain. Don’t get me wrong, I love running in the rain, especially when it’s warmer outside. It just adds to the challenge.

Today looks to be much the same challenge with several more rounds of heavy rain and thunder predicted. I also am scheduled for a longer run today so I expect I will get wet unless I want to hit the treadmill when I get home…

…Nah! I’d rather get wet…

The trails around here drain very well and you can, under most circumstances, run immediately after a good rain and still only have to avoid the odd puddle or two.

I think I have settled into the “grind” phase of my marathon training. I have had my fun running short races, but now the long climb to marathon distance begins in earnest. As my weekly mileage begins to increase, and my long run (every two weeks) tops the half marathon mark, the monotony begins. I remember this from last time. It just seemed that, for months, all I did was just run. I think it’s easy to lose focus and motivation during this time. Especially when it gets hot outside and you find yourself having to run at 5:30am just to get your miles in before the heat really kicks in. It’s kind of a mental “gut check”. You are pretty confident in your physical abilities by now, but marathons aren’t about physical ability only. You will, at some point during the race (this, I remember too well) question your methods, training, sanity, parents, faith, colon and even your existence on the planet. I think this “doldrum” period in marathon training prepares you as much for the mental aspects as it does the physical. If you can come through the “13-20 mile longest run” section of your training having not given up or given in, it makes that last month before you start to taper a bit easier.

The biggest challenge for me is going to be the heat of summer training. Being such a delicate flower (…snort) I tend to wilt in the high temperature dry sauna that is the midwest summer. Making sure I stay true to my training and not talk myself out of those 10 mile runs in 90 degree heat and 90 percent humidity (with no wind… and lots of bugs… SEE! There I go already…) will be my biggest test. Even though my marathon distance training run will be at the end of September, I will have the joy of running 18, 20, 22, 24 and 26 miles in July, August and September… I think if I can successfully accomplish this, the marathon will be a welcome relief!

Oh short!

Mileage: 3 (not!)

Time: 21:45

There is no way this is right.  Even though this is a course I have run a million times, I am now absolutely certain it is short.  I could not have run 7:15 miles.  I wasn’t even breathing hard when I got done.  My guess is it’s probably short by a good quarter of a mile.  While it’s nice that I am confident enough in my pace to say this, it’s unfortunate that I haven’t been running quite as far as I thought I was on this route.  I gotta get me one of those Garmin’s…  Anyway,  no matter.  I only run it every couple of weeks and I’ll just have to add a bit more to it.

I felt pretty good, even after the 13 mile Sunday.  It’s nice that I can recover that quickly.  I thought for sure I would be stiff and sore today.

My house likes the taste of running clothes…  I have purchased 1 Coolmax shirt and gotten one for a race entry, and both seem to have disappeared.  I only have one left (ok… 2… I bought another one today…) and we are heading into the hot season here in the midwest within the next month or so.  I may have to switch to Top Ramen just to keep me in something other than cotton.  Coolmax is expeeeeennnnnnsssssiiiivvvve!

And finally, in yet another tangential thought, I just finished eating (chicken burrito… YUM!) about 2 minutes ago and… as usual… I’m starving.

Isn’t this backwards…?

I guess my body (yes… another body report… sorry) has finally hit a bit of stasis because it has begun protesting violently when it feels it doesn’t have enough nourishment.  I get nasty headaches and stomach cramps when I don’t eat enough, but then I get other “problems” if I eat too much.  I am eating 5 meals per day.  Two small snacks (morning and afternoon) a good breakfast and dinner with lunch being my biggest meal.  I have been getting cravings and hungry headaches at about 8:30 at night as well.

I guess I have just never been this “tuned in” to my body.  Maybe I’m paying too much attention (read: obsessing) to it… I dunno…  But just like I am trying to stick to a program for running, I am also trying to stick to a program for eating.  I’m not sure which one is harder…  no…  I take that back…  it’s definitely the eating… *sigh*

It seems I can run an extra mile, or not.  Run fast, or slow.  Skip a day, or run an off day.  It doesn’t matter much.  I still slowly progress.  But if I add an extra calorie, even occasionally, or skip a meal, or eat an extra snack, I either feel horrible, will attack (and eat raw) anything that gets in my way, or those nasty pounds jump back on and I blow WEEKS worth of progress.

I’m not really “frustrated” as such because I know that if I stick to my plan this will work.  I just don’t understand it all and find the whole process a bit backwards and odd.  I guess I was just expecting a bit more linear results.

…eh…  oh well…

Let’s talk about time

Or… more accurately, projected times.

Is it realistic (assuming the same level of training all the way to the marathon) for me to project a time of 4 hours and 6 minutes as a target time based on yesterday’s 2 hour and 3 minute half marathon distance?

I, personally, feel that a “realistic” time is still somewhere in the 4 hour and 30 minute range, and anything faster is gravy.  But given my concerns about going out too fast and hitting the wall, I’m worried about pushing my pace.  On the other hand, I don’t want to walk off the course after the race saying “Man!  I could have run much faster.”

I realize at this point this is all just conjecture and idle musing, but I wonder, based on the training of others, what have you found?  Does your half time coincide with your full marathon time?

One of the other things I am having a difficult time doing is finding longer organized runs that fit into my training schedule.  There are plenty of runs around that are half marathons, but all of them fall on weekends where I am supposed to be doing long runs that are MORE than a half marathon.  I’m sure I will find one that fits into my short weeks, but it’s just funny that I would ever actually say “No… I can’t run that half marathon… it’s too short a race for me…”  it even seems odd to think it…!

I couldn’t help myself…

Mileage: 13

Time:2.03:54

Weekly Mileage: 33

Today was my long day. I was only supposed to run 12 miles. But I hit the half way point and I felt so good I just couldn’t resist tossing in an extra mile. I know… I know… Here I am worrying about others not following their training plans and then I don’t follow mine. I’m such a hypocrite…

I started off pretty slow, running 10:20s. I really usually just let my body set the pace and today it said “slow”, so that’s what I did. As I began to put in the miles, I seemed to warm up and managed to run the last 5 miles at a 9:30 pace. This course could be a little longer or a little shorter than 13 miles, but it doesn’t matter. It was 13 enough for me. It was also a gorgeous morning and I didn’t see a soul for the first 5 miles. I like that kind of solitude.

I would, however, like to thank the recreation planning gods for their forethought and intelligence. It seems my attempt at “carbo loading” left me carrying, well… a load… if you will. I thought I had taken care of this prior to the run, but about a 1/2 mile into it, I was proven painfully wrong. I went from bliss to desperation in two stomach cramps and started a panicked inventory of the local spur trails and estimated distances to potties. On pure potty finding instinct and an educated guess, I jumped off into a parking lot next to the trail and spotted what at that point in my life looked like the Arc of the Covenant, complete with ray of light and angels singing. A freezing cold, stainless steel toilet has never looked so good. Oh… and joy of joys… there was even toilet paper. Man… I love this town…

..and, ya know… once my little problem was taken care of… the stomach cramps went away and the rest of the run was beautiful.

Coach’s note: Purge your colon before you run, moron…

I also drank two big water bottles full of water and managed to remember to drink at each mile. I took one Hammer Gel at 6 miles (which REALLY helped). My two bottle runner’s fanny pack really seems to work for me. I just have to wear it a bit high so it doesn’t bounce. Seems I might be slowly getting the hang of this stuff…!